The Night That Was Not

It’s Saturday Night, New York City. And I am stuck on the train. Let me backtrack.

I made a trip back home with my best friend Wonda for a few days, and come saturday night, we were ready to hit the town. What we didn’t know is that this simple trip to a bar by the name of The Wren on Bowery street would be a tale for the ages.


My Nana’s house (where we are staying while we’re here) is in the Bronx and so far uptown, that it would normally take about an hour and 20 minutes to get to Astor place, the stop we needed to get off at. So we get ready, hop on the bus, then get on the 6 train. While we’re still above ground, I get a call from my Nana saying that someone got hit by the train. Yes, someone got hit by the train. Luckily, it wasn’t the train I was on, it was the one in front of me. Unfortunately, this slowed things down for a quite a bit if you can imagine. But that didn’t stop us, we were determined. What could go wrong from here? A lot.

To get to our destination, we had to take the 6, 5, and the N train just to get down to the East Village. We decided to get off at 125th street due to the 6 train running local on the weekends (btw, New York City/MTA…change that shit). Mistake. The 5 train usually runs express however, tonight it was running local because of course it was. Whatever, still determined, we decide to get off at 14th  street which was the closest stop from where we needed to be. So, between those 6 or so  small stops, there was someone drunk, I’m sorry, a “sick customer” on the 5 SO THEY HAD TO CLEAR OUT AN ENTIRE TRAIN FULL OF PEOPLE AND HAVE THEM GET ON A FULL TRAIN. Beside this being incredibly annoying, I’m 90% sure this is a safety hazard. At this point, we’re at 59th street and I notice we can connect to the N train from here. We run downstairs & wait for what was the longest 5 minutes of my life for the train. I’m feeling a bit better because I’m like, finally, we’re close. Oh Jazzmin, silly, silly Jazzmin. Why I thought things would go smoothly at this point, I’d never know. At 5th Avenue, some shitty (white) teenager decides, “Hey, you know what’s a good idea? To ride to outside of the train.” Yes, some little shit decided to attempt to train surf. But, he obviously didn’t think it through & decided to try to train surf right in front of MTA and promptly got arrested.


So by the time we got to our stop 8th street, we realize we could have just stayed on the damn 6 train the entire time. Oh and both of our phone’s GPS didn’t work so we went in a big ass circle trying to find the bar. But eventually, we made it. Oh The Wren, so damn cramped, so damn white. We stayed for all of 2 minutes. To recap, we took 3 trains and a bus, a total of THREE HOURS OF TRAVEL TIME , to stay at this bar for 2 minutes.

But the story has a happy ending!

Wonda and I found a really cute bar one block down that we loved! And the bouncer was from Detroit and he took amazing care of us the entire time. So, if you’re ever in New York, fuck The Wren and check out Saint in The East Village!

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