“You know she fucked so and so to get that spot.”
A rumor we have all heard, and sometimes there is truth to it. Lana Del Rey sang it best “I fucked my way to the top”. It is not unheard of for people to use what they got to get what they want. Usually, haters are the ones spreading rumors that people, especially women, are only successful because they had sex for it. Most people aren’t lying on their backs and scraping up their knees for their big break.
THEY ARE WORKING THEIR BUTT OFF!!
Sleepless nights, investing thousands of dollars, learning more, going through the mud, missing out on precious moments, and years of hard work go into these success stories we assume are easy and overnight. That does not keep predators from trying to coerce people to exchange sex for placements and things you can either pay for or get just because you’re good.
While looking for a studio to record my poetry EP, I was offered it all for free by several men in exchange for dates, foot rubs, and loads of other things aside from cash. I was faced with postponing my idea to find a space where I would work with an actual professional and feel safe, and eventually, I found one. But not everyone is so lucky. Countless men and women have washed their dreams right down the drain because they were constantly met with sexual advances and sometimes even sexual assault...
Recently, actor Terry Crews spoke out about him being sexually assaulted by a big Hollywood executive in relation to a role. These things are often swept under the rug and kept quiet.
Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, and tons of other big Hollywood actors, producers, directors, etc. have been accused of sexual assault in some capacity. Most of the victims were models, singers, and actresses hoping these men would genuinely help them further their career. Many of them say these men offered them better opportunities in exchange for sexual relations.
In an interview from 2005 singer, Courtney Love warned to never go to a hotel if Harvey Weinstein invited you.
People are dreaming of being stars, going without meals, and risking they're all for their big break and people in power (and sometimes without) are conning them into giving up their goods to make it. This is an unethical and immoral use of power and whistleblowers must continue to try and dead this clear exploitation.
Fucking your way to the top is a thing, and it's very rare that most people are paying their dues for their spot. People are working their butts off and aren’t looking for sex in exchange for a better career.
Positive energy. The thing that everyone preaches about, but finds it hard to stand upright at the pulpit once negative energy comes roaring through rose-colored doors. In 2017, we’re at an all-time high with the negative forces that are permeating our daily activities. Every facet of life, from politics to entertainment has some form of negativity attached to it like a newborn baby to a pacifier. A theory states that there must be positive and negative energy to balance out various aspects of life. But if balance means outing various countries and leaders on Twitter (45), or attaching our attention to harmful news-stories and video clips, then when and where does the positivity come into play?
Everything can’t always be sunshine and blue skies, but if society is creating its own conundrum of negative energy, then we must offset that energy and utilize that Cardi B exuberance that’s in ALL of us.
Three words, three syllables, and an unlimited amount of butthurt. Men. Are. Trash.
As common as it is for men to be told by other men to "man up" and/or ridiculed for being "sensitive" (the hypermasculine nigga's battle cry), it would seem the only time it's socially acceptable for men to embrace their sensitivity is when women are holding us accountable for being pieces of shit. Funny how that works.
Now, I do NOT like the phrase "men are trash." However, I understand why it is used. Much like how transgender model Munroe Bergdorf's recent statement that all white people are racist is a critique of the systems that perpetuate racism and socialize white people to be racist, as opposed to an individual, "men are trash" is not a direct attack toward any of us niggas! Instead, it's a critique of the patriarchal society we live in. It's a critique of the behaviors that those of us who benefit from this male-centric society see no problem with, even as we blame rape survivors for their own trauma and justify the murder of transwomen. Men are socialized to be sexist! If you actually listen to women when they discuss their experiences, you already know this. Unfortunately, it's far too common for men to simply dismiss and deflect, rather than understand and empathize.
Despite the pressing concern that one in three women worldwide has experienced either physical or sexual violence, men cry out bullshit they don't really care about, like "what about male victims of abuse?" Well, A recent Twitter rant just goes to show that men aren't nearly as committed to showing their concern with real action as they are with trolling women about their trauma. Deflections like these are used on the daily to silence women. However, they're not reserved for women alone. Men who live and breathe toxic masculinity have a habit of dismissing other men on the subject as well. Any attempt to defend women online or champion their causes will surely be met with blatant homophobia and the accusation that you're "simping." To me, this is very telling.
There is a large group of men who genuinely believe that a man respecting women and not wanting to see them abused by other men is only doing so with an ulterior motive, or is homosexual. Men are so used to feigning respect for women in order to get some pussy that they don't even know what the genuine thing looks like and even conflate the act with some sort of homosexual display. Absolutely ridiculous, right? Yet, this same group of men gets offended when the very behavior they are so used to, the very behavior they weaponize against other men, gets exposed for being the trash it is, especially by women.
There are plenty more points to make, but the main point of this rant is that most men don't give a single fuck about the self-serving bullshit that comes out of their mouths in the pathetic attempts at defending their trash behaviors and ideologies. Niggas don't even listen to women when they to attempt to shine a light on these legitimate concerns. They just cry about how three little words hurt their feelings, while women try to cope with the fact that there is no place where they are 100% safe from violence. So, in conclusion, and since men love being trash, if you hate being called trash, the only way to end it is to STOP BEING TRASH. The correlation is so simple and yet......nvm.
If you can't stop being trash, at least take your own advice and stop being so sensitive. It's only three little words.
What do you do when your with someone who has dreams, but casts those same dreams with doubts like the rain on a sun-filled day? What do you do when their favorite words are, "But," and "I can't?" Do you give up on them? Would you give up on them?
There is immense power in the organ that's between the upper and lower rows of your teeth. This is why that "sticks and stones" saying that was echoed in the childhood stage is null and void. It is very difficult to be with someone who doesn't dream big. It's like dragging a boulder on your ankle, hoping that at some point, it will break off; Couple that with negative energy that may accompany that lack of belief and you my friend have a recipe for disaster.
If you're with someone who doesn't dream big, have low self-belief and has a negative outlook on situations, then do your best to be the light in their darkness. There's no way that you can have two of the same things, so don't feed into what they're providing. Instead, help then unpackage the gift that they have yet to open.
“I’m an artist, and I’m sensitive about my s***”
– Call Tyrone (Erykah Badu)
There has been a lot of theivery and trickery going on in the creative community. Feeble-minded, wannabe creatives have been stealing concepts, designs, and artwork from various trendsetters in Detroit who will remain nameless. This isn’t a new occurance, but social media is the store that allows us as customers to witness the fake transactions before our very eyes.
If you REALLY are about the creation of content and art, you shouldn’t have to steal from someone else. There’s way too much public knowledge, books and others pieces of material that you can use in order to ignite the flame of creativity. I’ve personally had whole stories of mine stolen from lifestyle sites, so I know how it feels to have someone copy your hard-work. In closing, copying someone is the biggest form of flattery, but this theory goes oit the window if the content is down-right terrbile.
"Thank you for your interest in our company. We appreciate you taking the time to interview for this position. Although we were very impressed by what you have to offer, we are unable to offer you a position at this time. However, we will keep your resume in our current file for consideration at a later date should a suitable vacancy arise. We appreciate your interest and wish you every success in your endeavors."
Two letters. One word. As a word, "No" gets such a bad rap It's seen as this verb that can stop a train dead in its tracks. It can cause beautifully planned proposals to fail, job opportunities to crumble, and anxious kids waiting for ice cream after dinner to cry. No is the same word category as hate, envy, jealousy, and lie. But what if we utilize our human ability to turn No into fuel. What if we took the fear out of No? What if No can become bae?
No is not a word to run from. It's actually one you should run to when you need motivation and strength. On the journey toward your dreams, you have to build an unstable relationship with no. If your boss tells you, no, or someone emails you saying no about an exciting opportunity, use that defeated feeling for positive manifestation. No has to become your greatest strength because you will definitely receive more no's than yes.
Will you be able to handle No going forward